ANYWAYS...haven't posted for some time now. Probably because I've either been too drunk to remember or not drunk at all. That is the way I've been swinging for a while. In other news...WHO THE FUCK CARES?
Let's make some observations on life shall we?
I love Conan. I really do. WHAT? SHUT UP! I'm being serious! He is awesome and hilarious and I feel this is kind of a "fuck the man" situation, even thought I fucking HATE hippies. This entire thing has made me despise Jay Leno and NBC, even though many of my favorite shows still come from this network, and, I'll admit, Headlines has always made me laugh. Although that has nothing to do with Jay. He just got lucky to think of the bit and that people continue to find absurb adverts for their local grocery store.
ANYFUCKJAY...You all need to be watching Parks and Recreation ASAP. It is the best show on NBC right now. If you argue with me and say "Nooooo, what about the Office?" I will request your name and address and come to your place of residence and kick you in the balls/bagina and then spit on your mother. Did you see the Parks and Rec last night? Probably not because you were too busy masturbating in anticipation of the Office. And for what? A shitty clip episode that SUCKED? I could have understood that crap episode if they were in the middle of a seven episode arc and needed a creative break, but COME ON! They haven't had a new episode in like 3 or 4 weeks! It was bullshit is what it was. As much as I love the Office, I think the writers are running out of new material. So please. For the love of God and little baby Jesus in Heaven, watch Parks and Rec. Because it is FUCKING HILARIOUS. And honestly, would I lie to you? (Don't answer that.)
IN OTHER NEWS...Hot damn, I don't think I have any other news because my life is now rather boring. This is what happens when you are no longer in college. I don't think I've become a boring person (that doesn't happen until you get married and have babies), it's just that I don't get to be drunk and reckless all the time. Just on weekends. It's as though my sober self and my drunken self got divorced and my drunken self only gets me on weekends, with the occasional Thursday thrown in for company happy hours. Fuck you sober self!
SHUT UP! Think whatever you want you buttholes. I don't care! ANYWAYS...I will leave you with this closing note: Have you ever noticed that the word "therapist" is a combination of "the" and "rapist"...THE RAPIST!!! I'm sorry, but does anyone else find that funny? No? WELL THEN, SHUT UP. Good night.
