NYfuckingC

Hilarious things happen in NY...like all the time. For example, my friend Margaret just happened about the an LP (Little People aka midgets) Convention. In her hotel. Like, while she was also staying in said hotel. WTF? According to Madge, the LPs love to get drunktaneous (which means like two beers?) and they also love dressing like sluts. WTF SQUARED?!? Where do they get slutty midget clothes? They certainly aren't selling that shit in the children's section at Target. And if they did that would be HILARIOUS. Can you imagine? The most embarrassing section would no longer be "huskey" (aka fat kids and one of my bffs last names...loves you megs) but "slutty babies" or if they were trying to be more pc, experimental toddlers? i have no idea.

More crazy shiz...a homeless (i'm assuming) dude in a wheel chair with a shark puppet. He either just got the puppet or washed it on the reg bc it was a clean shark puppet. I couldn't understand a word said puppet was saying, but that was more or less to be expected. When you meet a homeless dude with a shark puppet, you do not question the wisdom of the shark puppet. 

One more thing...

So all my relatives are on this weird quest to find me "the contact" aka the person that hooks me up with a job or something along those lines. I've gotten some good stuff, but some dead ends. For example, my Uncle Steve's friend Carmen was incredible, nice and welcoming (he offered me sushi AND bagels...i ate both, whatevs don't judge) but he had no way of helping me find a job. He had one contact at HarperCollins, but he couldn't remember her name. Oh, btw he is a composer. He filled me in on his latest project...a rock band creating a concept album.

Now, I love  a good concept album (Ziggy Stardust, A Grand Don't Come For Free,  Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots)...HOWEVS a concept album about Dante (as in Dante's Inferno) and Beatrice (his 8 year old lover?) in...get ready for it...SPACE?? I can't deal. But with such catchy tracks as "Rocketship Pneumonia" who wouldn't be hooked?

Oh wait, I was joke telling. This music as effing weird...esp bc the singer, well I wish I could elabroate, but it was like the most intense eightes rock singer took a shot of soul (or acid?) and started going at it.

Ok I' about to PTF...night night motherfuckers.